Apparently “guru” sometimes means “ignoramus”

Fortune magazine got a “tech guru” to switch to an iMac for an article on the readiness of Macs for the small business world. The resulting article by Jonathan Blum lends some serious doubts to his guru status…

Macs are apparently not ready for the business world because:

• He didn’t like the packaging the iMac came in.
• He couldn’t find the on/off button.
• He hasn’t heard of a USB hub, nor a Firewire drive.
• He uses some odd Ethernet-via-USB device instead of the built-in Ethernet ports on pretty much every Mac or PC built in this millennium.
• He blames the Mac for Citrix’s software sucking on a Mac.
• He couldn’t turn off Spaces, nor figure out the very “complex keyboard commands” (pressing F8).
• He got confused by the two-button Mighty Mouse because there’s not a visible line between the buttons. I suppose this would indeed be challenging for someone who loses the on/off button, but he could always plug his PC’s mouse in.
• He didn’t like the graphical interface to Time Machine.

Not a single critique in the article is widely relevant to the business world. Most of them are bullshit criticisms, as well. Part of my work duties include taking helpdesk calls and tickets, and even our most challenged users manage to remember where the on/off button is after the first time.

Fortune, it’s time to get a new tech guru. Macs are by no means the right choice for all small businesses. Got mission-critical Windows-only software? That’s fine, and perfectly understandable. If your reasons for not considering a Mac include the packaging and the location of the on/off button, though, your goal for the next few months should be to figure out how to remove your head from your asshole.